From The Futility Closet;

Physicist James Van Allen outlived his own obituary writer.

As Van Allen approached old age, the Associated Press assigned writer Walter Sullivan to prepare a story that could be published on his death. Sullivan did so and died in 1996, but his story sat in the file for 10 more years before Van Allen finally passed away at 91.

This is awesome.

"People nowadays are too civilized to be afraid of."

"Okay, let's stick to my off-topic topic, please."

"Assez-vous? I hate assez-vous."

I like how when you wake up twice in one day, it feels like two different days.

Has anyone noticed a distinct lack in freeware font creators?

Oh well, I've looked long and hard, and I think I may have found a temporary fix.

Still, it does take time to make a font. And I had such a good idea, too...

"...But with a little help from moses and a lot of wrath from god..."

www.history.com, the day before easter, 2007

"This is confusing."
"Uh-huh."

"Are you going to the restroom or the bestroom?"

Teacher; "We're going to start right now."
(firedrill)

The best part? It actually happened.

What do ferris powder, ferris wheels, and Ferric Chloride all have to do with the word of the day?

Nothing. That was a red herring.

Today's word of the day is Clepsydra. What could this magical word be?

It's a water clock. The word's origin is assumedly (on my part) to be Greek.

So, why not go out into the work and start replacing normal person clocks with water clocks?

Because normal person clocks are better than water clocks. The Greeks would totally have made the switch, if they were availible.

"Set unreasonably high expectations for yourself, so you can tremble when you meet them."

"I didn't fail, I just suceeded differently."
"What, got more red marks than pencil marks?"

"That's what you get for thinking!"

This weapon is from Wikimedia Commons.

Wait, what?!

"There comes a point in time in most boy's lives when they can no longer be seen in public with their mothers."
"Oh yeah? And when is that?"
"Anytime after the mother's funeral."

"I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top." -An English Professor, Ohio University

In Oregon, if you listen to a certain bird's call just right, it says, "Vote for Nader. Vote for Nader."

Watch out for sneaker waves. You don't want to be killed by a bunch of shoes.

So a store's policy is, "you break it, you but it." What if I broke a bottle of alcohol? Could they let me buy it, even though I'm a minor?

Were brine shrimp the inspiration for quantized energy?

As few of you know, I was gone for some time. Of course, the trip gave me some new ideas. So, without further ado, here is the next batch of random thoughts.