How to Identify a Catchphrase using Google

Catchphrases are all over the place. A quick Google search will reveal the origin and meaning of any catchphrase. ...So long as that's the original form. People just love to remix popular catchphrases, usually just changing one word at a time.

While reading an article in Wired called "The Giant Nerds of Sumatra," it just suddenly dawned on me how to identify where a catchphrase is from. The original form is "the giant rats of Sumatra," an obscure quote from Sherlock Holmes that inspired one if not more fan fictions. I realized that there's just one word difference between the two phrases.

So how does one figure out which word is changed? By performing five Google searches, each time omitting one of the words. For the above catchphrase, five Google searches;

"nerds of Sumatra"
the "nerds of Sumatra"
"the giant" "of Sumatra"
"the giant nerds" Sumatra
"the giant nerds of"

Be sure to use quotes to attempt to preserve the order of the words.

Google will then happily fill in the blanks. Looking at the Google Search results, it's something like 5, 5, 300k, 5, 5. It's immediately obvious which one is the original catchphrase.

Also, if it's an especially long catchphrase, I suppose one could use heuristics to decrease the number of required searches. For example, I don't suppose that eliminating the "the" from the catchphrase did a whole lot.

Additionally, if more than one word was substituted, you'd have to do even more Google searches.

I personally don't know if this has been published before or not, but it's just something really cool that I just figured out. Even if this is just a rudimentary brute force method for solving something, it gives answers where there used to be questions.

What Did you Get your Mom for Mother's day, Connor?

At first, I was thinking that giving my mom a gift would be a pain. I'd have to go to a store, then pick some inane thing out, then give it to her. But once I had a humorous idea to go off of, it was all easy.

My mom likes to lounge on the couch. She also likes a blanket. Why not give her...



Now, first of all, I realize that Snuggie in crazy. I didn't want one. My mom didn't want one. But that's the genius of it.

Also, I figured, something that looks that comfortable, it would eventually win her over.

One of my friends even thought it was such a good idea that they covertly dropped off a $5 off coupon at Bed Bath and Beyond, ostensibly a place where one can find a Snuggie. So I went there.

But after I had the Snuggie in hand and was about to enter the checkout line, I realized the coupon was only good on purchases $15 or more, so I had to find something else to buy.

I eventually decided on a ladle that was on sale for $2, with a close facsimile below.



So what is my mom getting for Mother's Day?

A Snuggie and a ladle.

How to Win at Monopoly the Smith Way

You've probably played Monopoly. Well here's how to win in a tested method handed down from my father.

Firstly, you spot a color group you and a person could get together and create. For example, you have one green and they have two greens.

Next, you form a partnership. It doesn't really matter who has two properties, as the partnership is a lot better than just two unrelated properties. Each partnership has the conditions that
1) The partnership cannot be dissolved unless a member goes bankrupt
2) Both partners get free rent on the property group in question
3) Both partners split the cost of homes, with it being possible that one partner can "owe ya one"
4) Both partners split the rent equally, which usually defaults to paying owed house cash if any
5) A person's share of rent can be replaced by gaining a property instead, so long as the other person agrees and receives either their share in cash or an acceptable deal

Now you're into the "building houses like mad" period. As soon as you can, get 3 houses on each property. 3 houses is the magical number; that's the first major increase in rents. Keep in mind that you probably don't build a bunch of houses and run out of cash.

Once you've got hotels, you'll be raking in the money and be the ire of all the other players.

Unfortunately, winning doesn't end there. In the endgame, this partnership won't be all that great one on one against your partner. Hopefully you've used the partnership as a front on acquiring other properties in order to build them up. Additionally, it's sound strategy to make partnerships with other people, provided you can afford it.

According to some home rules, this practice is banned. Why? Because it's so brutally effective. This method can make hotels on a property long before other people are even building houses. I've tried this twice at two different friend's houses, and I've made out like a bandit both times. I've also provoked the ire of my friends for having such an effective strategy.

There's No School Today!

First of all, let me back up and tell you the story.

Alright, so first off, I live in Oregon. It's in the rainy part of the United States. It means we usually get craploads of rain, but never any snow. So when we do get snow, then everything erupts in snow fever.

From this Monday to this Friday, that should have been the week before Winter Break. Winter Break is the long vacation students get for what started as Christmas and ended up as “The Holidays.”

So I got up last Sunday, and I was mostly ready for school. Then 5 pm came, and it frigging snowed. Snowed. Outside. With no warning.

School was cancelled. And that's when the first few thoughts of, “School's out for the week,” started happening. But I was equally quick to think, “Nah, it'll never happen.” It seemed like a pipe dream, after all.

I spent the snow day doing thing, probably the same thing I'd do if it were the first day of Winter Break. I was aided in the fact that I didn't really have any pressing homework to do for Tuesday.

But then it happened. Again.

They canceled school, right at about 5 pm again. It was pretty nice having two days.

But that's when the feelings of grandeur came flowing in. There was snow on the ground, and it would be freezing cold the whole week. Everyone couldn't help but think that school would be canceled for the whole week.

Wednesday came along and there was no school. But this time, Beaverton School District (hereafter referred to as BSD) decided to make things interesting. They didn't immediately cancel school at 5pm, even though there was snow on the ground and it was going to be cold tomorrow. They said those fateful words of

“Good Evening, the Beaverton School District is closely monitoring the national weather forecast and consulting with our local weather service to make a call for Thursday (12/18/2008). No decision has been made at this time. We will decide by 10:00 p.m. tonight or may wait until 5:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. We need more information on the cold weather pattern that may be developing.”

Thankfully, they told us at about 8pm there was no school, but they had me going for a bit.

As it turned out, Thursday was warmer than freezing, which meant all the snow melted and it was sunny. Cold, but sunny. But it left Friday hanging.

And that's where the story really starts. My parents were saying there would be school tomorrow. The weather said it would be freezing. BSD wasn't saying anything. There was nothing to go off of. And it didn't look like it would be an obvious call.

“The Beaverton School District is closely monitoring changing conditions, and consulting with our local and national weather services to make a call for Friday. No decision has been made at this time. We will decide by 10:00 p.m. tonight (Thursday) or may wait until 5:00 a.m. tomorrow (Friday) morning.”

The standard canned response. Things got a bit more frantic as time went on. BSD's website got more and more bogged down as time went on. Then, right at 10pm, my friend in the know tells me,

“Good evening, no decision will be made regarding the status of school operations until Friday morning. Our greatest concern at this time is the possibility of black ice on side roads and at higher elevations. A team will be driving the roads at 3:30 a.m., and a decision will be posted before 5:30 a.m. Thank you again for your patience as we continue to monitor the safety of our students and staff.”

It's not a no, I'll say that.

So I had to debate, do my homework? Get up early to check? I decided to get up at 5am and check.

I checked. Nothing. So I wasted some time, waited around, checked a few more times, and got this;

“Schools Closed to Students and Staff, Friday (12/19/2008). All Activities and Events Cancelled. Administration Facilities Open to Essential Staff”

That's it! We won! We beat BSD! No school for a whole week.

Now I just wish I knew about it ahead of time so I could have put it to good use.

Googling "Something For Nothing"

What? Not Googling myself anymore?

So I just got the crazy idea to google "Something For Nothing," and write a blog post about what turns up. I figure, such a common yet bizarre phrase should lead to some bizarre stuff.

The first search result is a sober forum discussion on whether or not something about an iPhone. It really doesn't matter what. Although I did find a funny quote.

Sorry nutcake, but I will refer to being a long term customer if I want to. If you find it irrelevant, than don't refer to long term customers in your posts. However I do find it relevant and I will refer to it whether or not it bother you.

Deal with it. You can ignore me if you'd like.

-bubbaluv

If it doesn't make sense, I'm with you. It doesn't even really make sense in context.

The next is a post on a blog that leads to some artist's page.

Turns out, it's a whole page devoted to artists who make things out of natural things, "something from nothing." Not literally something from nothing, but something nonetheless.

Still, it's all a little bit "ho hum."

Now for the golden gem, this blog post from a blog;

TUESDAY, MAY 23, 2006

Someting out of Nothing
I have wrighters block!!! I have been looking at my computer trying to put words on the screen and noting, not a sentence, not a word, not a syllable! It is horrible!!! I'm going to have a traumatic experience!!! I may need therapy!!! How do you all do it??? It is like there is a force field is between me and my computer screen. "Jean-Luc Picard what have you done to me?" The normal event is that I give the computer a sentence or two, and it just grows from there. It is like the idea takes route on the screen. Then all the sudden 'IT'S ALIVE'. The computer is like cow shit, and the words are a plant. I may start it but it grows on its own. And now noting, zilch, zip, nada! My ground has been tainted! It is the day after!!! Noting can grow and what is still alive is going to be horribly mutated. There is no love between me and my computer; I have lost that loving felling.

But I will Survive!!! And I will come back!! And I will gain the Respect of my fellow bloggers!!!!

-DRAGON

RAMBLINGS FROM AN ADHD, DYSLEXIC. could just be the hot new blog of the time period. I think you should check it out.

And once again, a Google search gets you exactly what you weren't expecting, but were all too happy to find.

My Thoughts on the PC Gamer's Bill of Rights

So if you haven't heard by now, those crazy folks up there at Stardock and Gas Powered games came up with a PC gamer's bill of rights.

1. Gamers shall have the right to return games that don't work with their computers for a full refund.


2. Gamers shall have the right to demand that games be released in a finished state.


3. Gamers shall have the right to expect meaningful updates after a game's release.


4. Gamers shall have the right to demand that download managers and updaters not force themselves to run or be forced to load in order to play a game.


5. Gamers shall have the right to expect that the minimum requirements for a game will mean that the game will adequately play on that computer.


6. Gamers shall have the right to expect that games won't install hidden drivers or other potentially harmful software without their express consent.


7. Gamers shall have the right to re-download the latest versions of the games they own at any time.


8. Gamers shall have the right to not be treated as potential criminals by developers or publishers.


9. Gamers shall have the right to demand that a single-player game not force them to be connected to the Internet every time they wish to play.


10. Gamers shall have the right that games which are installed to the hard drive shall not require a CD/DVD to remain in the drive to play.

Now, as a gesture, I can appreciate this. However, it's lacking the necessary details to make this immediately applicable.

Additionally, some of these list items sound more like demands than an actual bill of rights. Notably, 1 and 3.

The first one, the return for a refund one, sounds a little harsh. Granted, it's never fun to buy a game and realize it doesn't work. However, does that really need to be prevented by offering a refund? Why not just make a free program that will test to see if the game will run?

The third one, the meaningful update one, also gets me. So long as the game works, why should the consumer be entitled to more content? Making that content also distracts from other potential games or sequels that the company might be making. The consumer knew what they were getting when they bought the game, right?

Well, maybe that didn't. Having looked at the backs of many PC games, they're all somewhat misleading as to how much fun you'll have while playing the game. Perhaps instead of the demand for more content, the consumer should be protected against false advertising?

The fifth one, the minimum system requirements one, could be modified. It could require companies to post the absolute minimum to run the program, like they've been doing, along with the so called for adequate requirements. That way, there's no loss of important information, and one no longer has to guess whether it's a minimum or a suggested.

Again, while I appreciate the gesture of this, I think it needs a lot more refinement before it's finalized.

Link Chain;
Edge Online -> CRAVE -> Me

Where to Find Free Surf Music Online

First let it be know that by "Surf Music," I am referring to the instrumental guitar-laden surf music of yonder glory days or the modern day equivalent of it. Sorry, no beach boys here.

"Let's Go Classics" by Takeshi Terauchi

Who is Takeshi Terauchi? He's a very good Japanese surf guitarist.

This album consists of covers of classical pieces, but done in a surf style.

Additionally, since this album and artist is so obscure, you've probably never heard of them before. Which is good.

WFMU has another Takeshi Terauchi album, This is Terauchi Bushi, which consists of orginal work of surf music bit with a bit of a Japanese twist at times.

Surf Guitar 101 Compilations

Surf Guitar 101 is one of the only pages you get when you Google search for "surf guitar." Surf Guitar 101 has a busy forum that occasionally collects surf guitar pieces from various members with the intent to combine them into one larger compilation for that year. So far, there have been three.



Surf Guitar 101 MP3 Compilation 2005





Surf Guitar 101 MP3 Compilation 2006




Surf Guitar 101 MP3 Compilation 2007

Various Internet Archive Surf Pieces

Surfing and Civilization - "Dissertation regarding the influence of surfing on Western civilization as expressed via guitar, organ, bass and drums."¹ In actuality, a moderately long catchy bit of surf music.




Surf Coasters Live at Double Down Saloon - The surf coasters are a modern day surf band and they're putting out some good songs. Have a listen to their latest live show on The Internet Archive.

"Play Some Surf Guitar" by Monsters from Mars - Surf music with a bit of a kick to it.

Mermen Live at Hard Rock Cafe - The Mermen are a modern day band that plays music vaguely reminiscent of surf msuic. While it's not exactly surf, you might find it to your tastes.

Youtube

Youtube works wonders in general for listening to music for free online, and it works those same wonders for popular surf music. Keep in mind that some of the more obscure things you might be looking for are probably not on Youtube.


"Wipeout" - The Ventures


"Pipeline" - The Chantay's


"Misirlou" - Dick Dale & The Del Tones

Try searching for others as there's plenty more where that came from.

Pandora.com

http://www.pandora.com/ is a free online radio station where you given an initial suggestion of what you like, and then it tries to find similar music. I've found that if you use "The Ventures" as an initial artist, you'll be exposed to all sorts of older surf music.

Last.fm

http://www.last.fm/ is a site where you can find and listen to more obscure songs than Youtube will let you. For example, if you hear something you like on the above mentioned Pandora.com but it's not on Yotube, perhaps it will be on Last.fm.

Keep in mind that there is a limit to how many free songs you can hear in a day, so Youtube is preferable in that regard.

Why Gnol Will Not be a "Wikipedia Killer"

Perhaps you've heard about the hot new Google product in beta. What happens is you make your own little page about something in which you are the expert in. It's like Wikipedia, but different in that there are authors and they're encouraged to take credit for their work. Additionally, they can add ads to their Knols if they want, effectively monetizing them.

Most people have speculated that Google created Knol to compete with with Wikipedia, but according to Wikipedia, "We welcome the Google Knol initiative. The more good free content, the better for the world."

And that's more like the stance I want to take.

First of all, Knol will end up being much different from Wikipedia. Wikipedia emphasizes anonymous non-paid contribution and professionalism, whereas Knol emphasizes profit-seeking¹ competition and amateurism.

Not that there's anything wrong with profit-seeking competition and amateurism, but it's very different from non-paid cooperation. So I'm predicting their articles will be very different.

Mostly in tone. A Wikipedia article strives for and is endlessly revised to achieve that perfect "Encyclopedia Voice." Conversly, a Knol will be either be in a personal voice or a semi-professional voice. There's nothing inherently bad about either, but they will be different and offer a different feeling to the reader.

Knols would have the liberty to be written about certain things that Wikipedia deems obscure. On Wikipedia, articles have to be on something well known, as arbitrarily defined by the moderators. Articles deemed to be about something relatively unknown would therefore be deleted. While this policy has its merits, it also leaves a handful of unhappy Wikipedia users that want to write about something but can't. Such people would be more than happy to switch to Knol where all content is allowed so long as it isn't ripped off or illegal.

And because a Wikipedia article and a Knol article for a topic will end up being so different, they will probably used to complement each other rather than replace each other.

So I don't see a future where Knol and Wikipedia ruthlessly compete for readers in the future. I see a lax future where both Wikipedia pages and Knol pages are used in concert.

1; I'm sure we can all agree that eventually a large portion of Knol will have ads on them. An Adsense account is not particularly hard to create. Additionally, a quick search around the internet will reveal that most of it has ads. This isn't necessarily a bad, because the ads on a Knol would be on the side and semi-relevant.

Conversation With A Spambot

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How Can You Tell if Someone's a Communist?

Ah, this one's a good one.

So I asked,

How Can You Tell if Someone's a Communist?

Are there certain tells that are characteristic of communists?

Do they have some sort of prominent feature?

Is there some sort of a radar you can buy?

Keep in mind at all times I was asking this jokingly, while all the time not expecting serious answers.

The best (4 non-me votes) poster said,

Just look in there I and ask if they love Huu Wong Song's ideas, or whatever that guy's name is from North Korea

I have no idea what the poor chap was trying to say.

"AngryCat" told me,

They don't have horns and hoofs.
The communism doesn't affect your appearence or manners. It's just a set of ideas that a person keeps in his/her head. There is no radar to find out it.

Yes, I know that, but I'm waiting for the person who does believe that communists have hooves and there's special communist radar.

Then this hippie lady said,

everyones a communist in one way or another(called their own set of values)

Which of course pissed off this person,

To the person below me, everyone is not a communist, as communism is a specific set of values.

You will know that they are a communist from speaking with them.

If they say that they are interested in revolution, world unity, class
conflict, and words like proletariat and bourgeisie, it is pretty clear they are a Communist.

Then this clever character said,

Are you trying to find communists or hide your own convictions?

In some American states even the word 'communism' gets the public running to the Republican ballot box.

Touche, man, touche!

Finally, here's my favorite answer,

So sorry you missed the millenium. We are at this present time, in the 21st century in the year 2008. The idea of Communism is a tired one, primarily because the Berlin Wall and thus Communism fell almost 20 years ago!!! You are a quaint relic of a bygone era. You should do one of two things. Either put yourself up for sale at a museum for antiques, or go back to sleep.

This is Yahoo Answers at its finest, people.

Connor's Thoughts' Competitors

So I was on Google, and I decided to see what people were thinking of me. But instead of “Connor Smith,” I searched for “Connor's Thoughts.” Hopefully this would lead to the numerous reviews and opinions that revolve around my blog.

While no such things were to be found, I did find a laughable amount of “competitors.” Thankfully, I'm the first result. Which means they're losing. But I find their attempts funny, so without further ado, here they are.



Terminator Fanfic Guy

While I never expected to see this, here it is. It's a Terminator fanfic, or at least I think it is. I can't be bothered to read about it.

Still, though, it seems pretty long and comprehensive. Although the title kinda sounds like a name for a blog.

Though, I have to say, one thing that really bothers me is when people's last names end in “Connor.” It's not meant to be a last name, and hence that bothers me.



Random Kid's Blog

Next I found something more akin to what I was looking for; some kid's blog.

Of course, I consider my blog superior in terms of quantity of content and type of content. Heck, his last post is a post saying that he should update more often. And that was in January.

It could also be noted that this kid chose the http://connorsthoughts.blogspot.com address. Which is not much of a bother because 1) I came first, and 2) I named it after my screename.



JSTOR Article

Another result, er, competitor I got was this random article.

The title is a longwinded “Paper, area never far from Connor's thoughts: Former editor and publisher still relished experience of boosting paper's fortunes.”

As this is a limited preview, I really have no idea what it's all about. And I don't want to pay money just for the weird thrill of reading an article that has the string “Connor's Thoughts” in the title.



Connor's Corner

A snazzy name, if I was ever trying to be creative about things. Also, I dig the random collage of images as a logo. You don't hardly see enough of awkward bitmaps in this Web 2.0 age.

I'd make more fun of this person, but I had this daydream that the owner of the site would somehow find me and get mad at me. So yeah, I'm done here.



Blank

Finally, I found this. I'm not sure what it is, but it's blank. “Add your content here.”

Maybe this is my blog in an alternate dimension? Or maybe in an alternate dimension, it's filled with content. Ah, who knows?

And that's all for now.

Uncalled For Commentary - Trains Being Slightly Late

This month's gimmick is 'Uncalled For Commentary,' where I randomly pick an obscure or unpopular topic, and offer more nonsensical commentary on it then there ever should be.

So you're on a train station, waiting for a train. It's been a while 30 seconds since the train was supposed to be there. Then it appears. “Ah, finally!” you think to yourself. “What a latenik.” WRONG!

This is WRONG! You should be thankful that your train merely arrived at all! It has to deal with some of the worst things known to man!

For starters! Air resistance! That's right! The one force that opposes any and all movement in an airy atmosphere. Train are not exempt! It continually works to slow down trains! They need to use more force to get there! Heck, air resistance is worse among things that travel really fast. So trains have it worse. Especially bullet trains! So be glad your train stood up to this magnanimous force and was the victor.

Next! Bandits! While definitely on a sharp decline since the 20's or whenever it was train robberies were common, they're still out there. Sure they're foiled by the modern train's sheer speed and possible armed staff, but they're still trying. I'm sure there will be numerous reports of train robberies in the future, when these cunning robbers have finally found a way to best even the mighty train. Then you'll be thankful your train even came at all. Heck, you'll be thankful there are even still trains.

Furthermore! Mechanical trouble! Trains may be works of art from an engineering standpoint, but even the best baseball hitter misses two thirds of the time. Hence, why should train fare any better? Plus, with all that training around, from station to station, you'd think something would have to break every now and then. And it will! So does being 30 seconds late seem like an acceptable proposition if HALF THE TRAIN WAS ON FIRE!? I'd say so!

Finally! Philosophy! How is this one bad, you might ask? Say you could eliminate everything in existence just by thinking about eliminating everything in existence. Trains are part of that existence! You'd be getting rid of the trains! There are millions of people out there! At least three of them are continually trying to blanket out existence. Trains have to deal with that! Despite almost being willed out of existence by some bozo, they struggle valiantly against all odds. Thirty seconds is better than NOT AT ALL.

As we can all clearly see, trains face much stress in this modern day and age. Giving them the respect they demand and deserve can prolong your life. CONSIDER THAT!

All views expressed in this “editorial” are not necessarily the views of Connor Smith. I don't know how that works, but just go with it, okay?

Immovable Object Versus the Unstoppable Force

So I asked another question to Yahoo Answers again. If you want, you can see the Original Question Thread.

So, the first interesting answer brings up parallel dimensions.

The other one, in each one's parallel universe.

My friend says the unstoppable force is permanently budging.

The next one neglects to answer the question, but makes up for that by pointing out that this would be a spectacle.

Reach over and wake up the wife/husband or friend because they have never seen a wreck like the one that is gonna happen. Your question answers its self.
UNSTOPPABLE---can't be stopped
IMMOVABLE--can't be moved
So there is going to be a GREAT BIG BANG when they meet

Then someone reasoned this;

I suppose you could say the terms are mutually exclusive i.e. the existence of an unstoppable force makes it impossible for an immovable object to exist, and vice versa.

If you're into long explanations, here's one just for you;

In simplest terms: the 'immovable object' would, by point of reason, redirect the energy of the unstoppable force. Since the unstoppable force would still be generating energy at the point of impact, the overflow would cause it to redirect the energy away from the point of impact and along the surface of the object. Depending upon the size of the object compared to the amount and/or shape of the force directed towards it, the force would either slide over the surface until it reached the edge of the object, at which point the unstoppable force would continue onwards, or if the surface were big enough, the force would eventually 'bounce' away from the object, since the resistance away from the object would be lesser than the resistance towards the object (force always travels along the path of least resistance.)

Long story short, they go around each other.

Then a cheeky person said this;

I think they'd both stop themselves a fraction of a second before the collision, and then divert their paths so as to crush between them the annoying philosopher asking all those hard questions.

Aha! Hard questions! Nice pun!

Finally, we have the obligatory nonsensical answer.

The liar.

Yeah, I don't get it either.

Well, that's all for this time. See ya next time when we ask more hard questions on Yahoo Answers.

Debates Are Not the Way to Convince

So you've heard about debates; spectacles where two people sit across from each other and take turns yelling at each other. For some reason, debating has become the established method of convincing someone of something. Which is funny, because they don't convince people at all.

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Getting my Name Wrong; It's Bad

Alright, alright, alright, let me reason with you.

I know that if you just hear my name, there's no way to know how it's spelled. I mean, it's a prrtty common name with lots of permutations.

BUT WHEN I'VE FRIGGIN' TOLD YOU HOW TO SPELL IT, you better remember. Unless you're a one day acquantance. But really, if you were one of those, would you be reading this?

But on to the real target here; idiots who misspell my name even when it's right there.

Now, I want you to look at my blog's title. See the name there? THAT IS THE CORRECT SPELLING OF MY NAME.

Now, before you get personally offended, I'm realling making this rant for one "Meri Jeffrey," that commented on one of my videos.

So, if you go to that page, he/she/it clearly calls me "Conner." Now, I dunno about you, but my friggin' name's on the top of the page! Dear god!

So there! There! Bah! Get my name wrong at your own peril, I say!

Adventure Quest

Sure you see the ads all the time and go, "Psh, stupid game."

But you have to remember, they're pretty much the only people who had their "pay money to get better stuff" payment as just a single payment. That's right; just one payment got you better stuff. Forever.

And it's not even all that much money. $20, maybe.

So whenever you next see an ad for adventure quest, think about this; one time payment.

What if more MMORPG's used that system? I don't know.

But I do know that I like it that way. I paid for the better thing years ago. I bet I still have it.

How to Lie Effectively

Two warnings. Firstly, the block quotes are not what they appear to be. Next, can you trust me? I may be talking like I know a bit about this, but that could all just be your gullibility.

Be consistent.

Make a story, and stick to it. If you contradict yourself, someone's going to know something's wrong. Then they might find your lie. Then you might be out of luck.

Don't lie.

This may seem counter intuitive, but try not to lie. Not about this thing, of course. But about other things. This will make you seem trustworthy. So when you tell this lie, someone's first instinct would be to trust you.

But wait, if people tell the truth just to later lie, how can you trust anyone? Congratulations, you're now a skeptic.

Secondly, it's a whole lot better to have a story and stick with it. So, tell the truth about littler things pertaining to your lie, that also don't give yourself away. There's nothing like the truth to establish a credible story. Just make sure to remember what you told the truth about.

Practice your poker face.

Some people believe they can tell when a person is lying just by their facial expressions. While this is hardly an effective way of determining if someone is lying or not, it could certainly lead to being found out. So try not to give someone a reason to think you're lying.

But, don't just use a poker face. If you never look like a stoic stone statue, then you probably don't want to break the pattern. Just look like you naturally do. No one notices your facial expression when it looks like normal.

Stay Sober

Alcohol lowers inhibitions. Alcohol plus liar equals confession.

Distraction

So someone knows that you're lying. But they don't know what you're lying about. So, distract them by revealing a fake lie. Or lead them on the wrong path.

If you're going to do this, make sure it really is a red herring. If they look into it and you get into trouble for something else, way to go. Also, if you're trying to implication fictional crimes in yourself, make sure they're fictional, or can be proved as such.

Gullible people

If you somehow have a choice of who to lie to, choose the most gullible person. That way, they'll believe you. Or not believe you, if your lie sucks.

Don't tell people where you learned this

While not necessarily a step in the actual lying, it'd be nice if people didn't know what exactly to look out for in a lie, eh?

Next, it'd be a whole lot better for society if the lying was kept to a minimum.

Chiasmus Competition

So in my AP LAng class (short for Advanced Placement Language), we had a chiasmus competition.

Now, I'd like you all to observe this interesting phenomenon.

The theme was winter holidays. It was assumed that anything that did not fit the theme was kicked out.

So, I create three chiasmusi. "There is one Harish in our class, but no class in our Harish."

For those of you who don't know, Harish is a person. In my class.

Then I came up with this one. And another one, but I don't like that one so much. "Use wrapping paper on your gifts, but don't gift your wrapping paper."

Now, which one do you think would make it farther?

Apparently it was the mean and hurtful one. Even though it didn't even fit the theme.

So really people. Do we love hurting people that much?

Also, if you haven't figured out what chiasmus is yet, there's a website. www.chiasmus.com

First Impressions and Commentary on Kidnation

So yesterday was the premier of CBS's Kidnation. And, while it doesn't quite live up to my previous expectations, it still is an interesting show.

But first, more on the dashed expectations. I was expecting this show to set out a bunch of kids out in the wilderness, with them assumedly forming their own society. However, after watching this show, I came to the epiphany that such a show probably would never come to fruition. Watching those kids fall apart with no cohesion contributed to that sentiment. It does not seem like kids are capable of creating a society with little or no guidance, Lord of the Flies be contradicted.

Another interesting thing about the show is the adult “interference.” With a name like Kidnation, one would expect the show to center around the children. And it does. However, one would also expect the role of adults to be greatly under emphasized. In my prior unrealistic expectations, the adult interference would be next to nil. However, such a thing could not happen, at least not if you wanted to see all the kids at the end. Still, it does seem odd to me in having the kids do all these seemingly survivor inspired events.

But as my dad remarked, “It's like kid survivor.” However, this is simply not true. Sure, there was a tiny bit of a survivor element to it. But whereas in survivor the rules are forced upon the contestants, in Kidnation the kids are coaxed into it. And, with their apparent enthusiasm for everything, it seems as though they enjoy it. To clear things up, the kids were split up into 4 teams, then later participated in a competition; this being the extent of Survivor's influence. However, the game was not to see who survives, a la survivor, but rather to determine classes. Yes, this will need a whole 'nother paragraph. Also, there was a town hall meeting, but that was just like a normal town hall meeting and not like the trial by tiki light characteristic of Survivor.

One of the more interesting elements introduced to the show was the concept of “class.” In the first game, there was a large goal that would be granted were all the teams to finish within a set amount of time. But in addition to that, there was a competitive element; one's “class” would be determined by the result of the team, the with first place being most desirable and then on. First place was the “upper class,” with the highest pay ($1) and few if any concrete responsibilities. Next were the merchants, who were paid ($ .50) and were to operate the store, where children could spend their money. Then there were the cooks ($ .25) with the job as titled. Finally, there were the laborers ($ .10), who were assigned the so called dirty jobs of hauling water and cleaning toilets. And if you were wondering, the grand prize for all of them was either 8 more toilets or a tv. Not surprisingly, the council chose the toilets.

But who is this “council?” At the beginning of the show, there were 40 kids gathered all in one place. The one present adult explained to them how it would all work out. Then he laid out the announcement that their leaders were coming to them in a helicopter. Now, I don't know what you were like when you were 8-15, but that would be pretty darn impressive. Out from the helicopter came 4 people, introduced to the 40 kids as their “council.” The leaders got their first trial of getting all the wagons to their city. During that time, and soon after, there was a bit of tension regarding a certain leader's performance, “Mike”, who was accused of being too much of a supervisor. Initial impressions on the group of 40 weren't entirely positive, either. However, as time went on, such resentment went the way of the dodo. Of note, the aforementioned leader redeemed himself by beating the odds and winning the first competition.

No, I will not comment on the individual children. I'm not watching this show like a fan watching survivor, I'm watching this show as a self styled psychologist and social commentator. I mean, if the actions of a particular kid were to be essential to the social commentary, then yes, they shall get their mention of fame. However, I will not list my “favorites” on this blog. That is not my point.

One interesting and seemingly psychological thing I noticed was the tendency to not help another team. In the competition, the first two teams were neck and neck. The next two seemed like they could be close, but weren't. When one had finished, there was just one team left and about 5 minutes to go. Even though there was a large prize to be had were all the teams to finish within the time limit, no one went out to help the last team. Granted, they egged them on with their shouts as best as they could, but they all kept their physical distance. Quite a statement about human nature.

Another interesting social phenomenon I didn't notice was the outright resentment at one's job. It was briefly hinted at, but never mentioned afterwards. Then again, only four days had passed. But still, the current conditions do not look favorable for a “dictatorship of the proletariat.” Granted, the job disparity isn't quite as extreme as real life. And, there might be a feeling that they “earned” the job they got, as it was decided by their placing in the competition. So it is too early to tell why they don't feel resentment, or even if there will be a revolution or not.

Another interesting social phenomenon was when a girl named “Sophie” began dancing in an effort to raise money for herself. As she was a laborer, she had little money of her own. She also wanted a bike, valued at $3, which was far out of any single person's wallet, especially a laborer's. So she started dancing in order to earn donations. And she was effective in raising the money and purchasing the bike. When she finally did get it, it was met with much fanfare from the other kids who were present, leading me to believe that begging does not quite have a negative stigma with children. Either that, or they sympathized with her “plight.”

And while there's undoubtedly more I haven't commented on and could, I bet you wanted to see less here. So, until the next episode of Kidnation, that's all for now.

From an article found on ZDNet, written by Marc Orchant;

Article

" So David from 37Signals dropped the f-bomb in a particularly myopic post wherein he tries to argue that we don't need offline functionality from online applications because, "like dude… we're all connected ll [sic] of the time and why don't you read a book or something when you're on a plane?". This unsurprisingly (and perhaps by design?) screed has generated an emotional comments thread (now 200 deep and sure to get bigger) in which folks from around the world do their best to educate the author (and presumably his pals at the company) as to the reality outside the world of a developer living in a major US city. It's great intertubes drama if you're a fan of that sort of thing. "

The whole post starts about offline versus online applications, then transitions to how the web is changing.

As for what I think about offline versus online applications, I think that offline applications should still exist. I wouldn't trust both the server and my connection to said server when making something important. Without a stable internet connection, it's a real pain. I'd much sooner trust my computer than my internet connection. I would say that I'm personally very biased towards offline applications.

From the same article;

" The net generation has never known a world without the network. They have different expectations and experiences than I (we) do. As a result, their comfort level about working online is profoundly different. They approach the idea of work and career differently that we have and they use mobile and net technologies in a dramatically different, and much more personal, way than most of us in the pre-net generation.Have you watched twenty-somethings use MySpace? I have – I sta next to my daughter (22) and her roommate (20) yesterday watching them cruise their social networks – and it's nothing like the way I use the tubes. "

I don't know how these wunderkinds use the internet, but I can say that an adult and a child both use the internet differently. I will agree that the net is changing, and so are the people that use the internet. However, the past is not always wrong. just because the office model seems antiquated nowadays doesn't mean it can't work for future generations.

Well, that's more than my 2 cents worth.