Ohio Students Falsely Decontaminated, Connor Smith Okay

So I saw this story come in on the wire, "False alarm means decontamination of Ohio students" and I immediately thought of parallel universe Connor Smith.

That's right, there's a Connor Smith. Except he's not in a parallel universe, he's just a sophomore at Ohio State.

So anyways, I just read that headline, and I instantly wondered if Connor Smith was okay. As it turns out, the article was about a high school, which naturally precluded Connor.

But isn't it weird that now I'm starting to feel concern and worry over this doppelganger? I'm a bit concerned for when he finally makes the NFL draft and when he joins a team. Will he have a good career? Will he be the best offensive tackle there ever was? And to a much lesser extent, when will my friends figure this out and give me crap about it?

And to think, this all happened because I Google'd "Connor Smith" and he won.

Vietnam to Ban Something Else Moderately Funny

Remember when Vietnam wanted to ban hamsters? Well apparently banning random things is a recurring joke for Vietnam.

Now they're getting rid of small chested drivers. Along with a bunch of other groups of people that make a bit more sense.

Again, like banning the hamsters, this is something that can kinda maybe be justified on paper, but in real life is somewhat ridiculous.

Here's the link to the Article if you want facts, details, or journalism.

The Craziest E-mail I've Ever Gotten

This email was sent by Oregon Trail. You can disable emails here.
---
Thanks for using Oregon Trail. We are excited to announce that, as of next week, Oregon Trail's name and functionality will be changed to SpeedDate. Data entered into the original app won't be used anymore. Soon you'll be able to try SpeedDate, the fastest way to meet new people, so stay tuned!
Thanks,
Oregon Trail

P.S. If you want to opt-out of this app, instructions can be found here.

I especially like the part about the absurd name and functionality change.

Falsified Steve Jobs Heart Attack Story Writer's Motive Still Remain Unknown

According to the report, "The fake Internet report posted to CNN's iReport site earlier this month claiming Apple CEO Steve Jobs had suffered a heart attack was posted by a teenager who doesn't appear to have posted it to manipulate the company's stock price, Bloomberg News reported on Thursday."

Unfortunately, "Citing 'people with knowledge of the matter,' the report said the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission is still looking into the motives of the unnamed 18-year old..."

When asked for comment, Connor Smith said, "It's clearly obvious this kid did it for attention. Furthermore, by posting this story you've only given this kid even more attention. I think the only reasonable solution is to shun this kid."

"And take away his iPod."

Googling "Something For Nothing"

What? Not Googling myself anymore?

So I just got the crazy idea to google "Something For Nothing," and write a blog post about what turns up. I figure, such a common yet bizarre phrase should lead to some bizarre stuff.

The first search result is a sober forum discussion on whether or not something about an iPhone. It really doesn't matter what. Although I did find a funny quote.

Sorry nutcake, but I will refer to being a long term customer if I want to. If you find it irrelevant, than don't refer to long term customers in your posts. However I do find it relevant and I will refer to it whether or not it bother you.

Deal with it. You can ignore me if you'd like.

-bubbaluv

If it doesn't make sense, I'm with you. It doesn't even really make sense in context.

The next is a post on a blog that leads to some artist's page.

Turns out, it's a whole page devoted to artists who make things out of natural things, "something from nothing." Not literally something from nothing, but something nonetheless.

Still, it's all a little bit "ho hum."

Now for the golden gem, this blog post from a blog;

TUESDAY, MAY 23, 2006

Someting out of Nothing
I have wrighters block!!! I have been looking at my computer trying to put words on the screen and noting, not a sentence, not a word, not a syllable! It is horrible!!! I'm going to have a traumatic experience!!! I may need therapy!!! How do you all do it??? It is like there is a force field is between me and my computer screen. "Jean-Luc Picard what have you done to me?" The normal event is that I give the computer a sentence or two, and it just grows from there. It is like the idea takes route on the screen. Then all the sudden 'IT'S ALIVE'. The computer is like cow shit, and the words are a plant. I may start it but it grows on its own. And now noting, zilch, zip, nada! My ground has been tainted! It is the day after!!! Noting can grow and what is still alive is going to be horribly mutated. There is no love between me and my computer; I have lost that loving felling.

But I will Survive!!! And I will come back!! And I will gain the Respect of my fellow bloggers!!!!

-DRAGON

RAMBLINGS FROM AN ADHD, DYSLEXIC. could just be the hot new blog of the time period. I think you should check it out.

And once again, a Google search gets you exactly what you weren't expecting, but were all too happy to find.

What my Computer Desktop Looks Like

Your desktop says a lot about what kind of person you are, all your hopes and dreams, about what makes you go on another day in this funny thing we call life.

Yet, we are rarely able to glimpse at other people's desktops.

So look at this photo and ponder, "Just what do all my friend's desktops look like?"

Madden Curse Strikes Connor

No, I'm not talking about the Madden curse where the cover athlete has a mediocre season.

Come on, me, a cover athlete?

I'm talking about the alternate curse that makes you think it's next year already. I'm become so used to "Madden 09" that I keep having to stop and think about what year it is.

Just a reminder, it's 2008 this year.

Man convicted of murdering couple thrown off yacht

At least, that's the headline for A Guardian article with the most misleading name ever.

Well, I suppose that if you reread it, you can tell it's the couple that was thrown off the yacht. And you can certainly tell by the contents of the article. But being the person I am, my first thought was that this murderer was thrown off the yacht.

The actual article itself is boring as far as homicide reports go. It's just the headline that was interesting.

"The actual article itself is boring as far as homicide reports go." Wow, I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me.

I blame society.

It's Over For a While

I'm taking a break.

I'll be back later.

Comcast to Create "Excessive Use" Bandwith Limit

An Official Announcement by Comcast;

Dear Comcast High-Speed Internet Customer,

We appreciate your business and strive to provide you with the best online experience possible. One of the ways we do this is through our Acceptable Use Policy (AUP). The AUP outlines acceptable use of our service as well as steps we take to protect our customers from things that can negatively impact their experience online. This policy has been in place for many years and we update it periodically to keep it current with our customers' use of our service.

On October 1, 2008, we will post an updated AUP that will go into effect at that time.

In the updated AUP, we clarify that monthly data (or bandwidth) usage of more than 250 Gigabytes (GB) is the specific threshold that defines excessive use of our service. We have an excessive use policy because a fraction of one percent of our customers use such a disproportionate amount of bandwidth every month that they may degrade the online experience of other customers.

250 GB/month is an extremely large amount of bandwidth and it's very likely that your monthly data usage doesn't even come close to that amount. In fact, the threshold is approximately 100 times greater than the typical or median residential customer usage, which is 2 to 3 GB/month. To put it in perspective, to reach 250 GB of data usage in one month a customer would have to do any one of the following:

* Send more than 50 million plain text emails (at 5 KB/email);
* Download 62,500 songs (at 4 MB/song); or
* Download 125 standard definition movies (at 2 GB/movie).

And online gamers should know that even the heaviest multi- or single-player gaming activity would not typically come close to this threshold over the course of a month.

In addition to modifying the excessive use policy, the updated AUP contains other clarifications of terms concerning reporting violations, newsgroups, and network management. To read some helpful FAQs, please visit http://help.comcast.net/content/faq/Frequently-Asked-Questions-about-Excessive-Use.

Thank you again for choosing Comcast as your high-speed Internet provider.

If you don't have the patience to read all that, just know that Comcast will soon be capping service at 250 gb of bandwidth a month.

As they try to make clear, this is not to mess with the average customer. This is the mess with the "fraction of one percent of our customers [who] use such a disproportionate amount of bandwidth."

In other words, heavy torrent users.

Curse You Verizon Wireless, Foiled Again!

As none of you know, I recently got a cell phone. And as even less of you would know, it's on the Verizon Wireless network.

No, I will not post my phone number on the internet like a total idiot.

Anyways, I thought I could get a custom ringtone onto my phone, thus circumventing the need to pay money to Verizon to get a crappy non-obscure ringtone.

Apparently Verizon was to have the last laugh on this one.

So it would seem that while you can download "sounds" and "music" to your SD card, you cannot download "Ringtones."

Quite frankly, I don't see the different between "Sounds," "Music," and "Ringtones." But Verizon Wireless sees it.

So now I'm probably going to have to settle with buying some sort of ringtone.

Then again, Standard Ringtone 6 isn't all that bad...

It Happens Again!

So I log on to Google Analytics, thinking that I'll see just another number between 20 and 30.



Nope. 466 visits. Yes, I was floored.

This is only rivaled with that one time I got 50 or so visits that one time. It was exciting then. Same now.

Now, I just have to figure out what did it...

Spore Wins, Just Not How you Thought

Spore has been pegged as a massive failure ever since its release.

However, this little review on Sparknotes proves a point; that the common man will find Spore to be a fun game.

So who knows.

Firefox Unleashes "Private Browsing Mode"; But Google's Chrome Already Beat it

I found an announcement dated for today that Firefox is adding a private browsing feature.

Coincedentially, I'm sure, Google's browser Chrome was unleashed in beta a while ago and has a private mode too.

As far as I know, Internet Explorer does not have such a mode. But since I've switched to Chrome for most normal browsing, that's not really an issue.

Link Chain;
Monkey Bites -> Me

A Word we Need

From Futility Closet;

Mamihlapinatapais, from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, is considered the world's most succinct word — and the hardest to translate.

It means "a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but that neither one wants to start."

You might laugh at sheer nuance of the word, but it happens.

That's why we need a word for it in English. That way, when it happens we can mention the word, and we'd both laugh, and everything would be okay.

Initial Impression of Google Chrome

To start off, Google's new browserChrome is doing alright. I really like the look of the browser. So far, whole it's bear bones, it's getting the job done.

...Until I open something with flash. I tried opening Pandora Internet Radio, and Chrome spectacularly crashes. I tried it again, and another horrible crash.

But, on the bright side, it did figure out that Chrome closed unintentionally and offered to direct me back to Pandora.

Additionally, Chrome hates flash games.

As I'm coming from an Internet Explorer background, which handles flash very well, this is a giant disappointment. That's the thing that keeps me from using Chrome full time.

For now, I think I'll try using Internet Explorer for Pandora, and Chrome for everything non-flash.

Sheep Everywhere Win a Battle as "Domestic Sheep" is the Wikipedia Article of the Day

As few of you know, one of my favorite animals is the common sheep. So that's why I'm excited that today's Wikipedia article of the day is sheep.

My Thoughts on the PC Gamer's Bill of Rights

So if you haven't heard by now, those crazy folks up there at Stardock and Gas Powered games came up with a PC gamer's bill of rights.

1. Gamers shall have the right to return games that don't work with their computers for a full refund.


2. Gamers shall have the right to demand that games be released in a finished state.


3. Gamers shall have the right to expect meaningful updates after a game's release.


4. Gamers shall have the right to demand that download managers and updaters not force themselves to run or be forced to load in order to play a game.


5. Gamers shall have the right to expect that the minimum requirements for a game will mean that the game will adequately play on that computer.


6. Gamers shall have the right to expect that games won't install hidden drivers or other potentially harmful software without their express consent.


7. Gamers shall have the right to re-download the latest versions of the games they own at any time.


8. Gamers shall have the right to not be treated as potential criminals by developers or publishers.


9. Gamers shall have the right to demand that a single-player game not force them to be connected to the Internet every time they wish to play.


10. Gamers shall have the right that games which are installed to the hard drive shall not require a CD/DVD to remain in the drive to play.

Now, as a gesture, I can appreciate this. However, it's lacking the necessary details to make this immediately applicable.

Additionally, some of these list items sound more like demands than an actual bill of rights. Notably, 1 and 3.

The first one, the return for a refund one, sounds a little harsh. Granted, it's never fun to buy a game and realize it doesn't work. However, does that really need to be prevented by offering a refund? Why not just make a free program that will test to see if the game will run?

The third one, the meaningful update one, also gets me. So long as the game works, why should the consumer be entitled to more content? Making that content also distracts from other potential games or sequels that the company might be making. The consumer knew what they were getting when they bought the game, right?

Well, maybe that didn't. Having looked at the backs of many PC games, they're all somewhat misleading as to how much fun you'll have while playing the game. Perhaps instead of the demand for more content, the consumer should be protected against false advertising?

The fifth one, the minimum system requirements one, could be modified. It could require companies to post the absolute minimum to run the program, like they've been doing, along with the so called for adequate requirements. That way, there's no loss of important information, and one no longer has to guess whether it's a minimum or a suggested.

Again, while I appreciate the gesture of this, I think it needs a lot more refinement before it's finalized.

Link Chain;
Edge Online -> CRAVE -> Me

Things to do Before Schools Starts Again;

Cry your heart out.

Image unwittingly donated by kakisky. Thanks!

Wowio is DEAD to me

That whole "going global" thing didn't have me scared. But it should have.

So I come back to Wowio, hearing that comics are now pay to download. That's okay, I don't read too many comics.

But then I learned now that normal books are now pay to download as well.

COME ON, WOWIO! THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT!

Maybe someday I'll come around and see if I can somehow stand to read books online. But for now, Wowio is just dead to me.

The Rich Jerk says...

Man, who knew there were actually funny Google Ads?

The Problem With Average Based Rating Systems

Take a look at this picture;
People all voted either 5's or 1's. But the average is 3 stars.

That average doesn't show that half the people either loved it or hated it. They're more polarized than a battery!

Bitter Celtic Fans disgust me!!, if you wanted to see the article. The ratings have probably changed, though.

Take-Two Finally Safe from EA

EA, the tireless gaming giant, was seeking to envelope Take-Two Interactive and digest it. However, they recently announced that this action would no longer benefit them enough.

However, upon actually reading the article, it says they stopped because they wouldn't get the profits from the holiday season. It says little to nothing about them trying again next year.

Take-Two is famous for currently owning the Civilization franchise which I am a fan of and various sports titles. At one point, they were the only viable competitor to EA's sports games.

Link Chain;
Bloomberg -> Civilization Fanatics -> Me